My name is DeAndra Smith. I am an N Street Village resident, and I am proud to say I recently graduated from the Peer Case Management Institute. When I look back on my journey, I’m struck by how much rage and anger I used to carry. I had nightmares and flashbacks almost every night. I was arrested 184 times for fighting. I knew I wanted to change, but I didn’t know how.
Before I came to the Village, I felt like I had a big dark hole in my heart. I carried a lot of pain from childhood abuse at the hands of a caregiver. By the time I was 13 years old, I had very low self-esteem and struggled to trust anyone. I ran to the streets, began selling drugs, and got into fights. I had no direction and did not believe I could have a better life. This is how I arrived at N Street Village’s emergency shelter, Patricia Handy Place for Women.
One day, an N Street Village staff member, Sherine, asked me a difficult but important question: “Do you want to live?” At the time, I didn’t know how to answer. A few weeks later, I came back and told her, “I want to live, but I don’t know how.”
That was the beginning of my journey.
Over the last 10 years, N Street Village has connected me with supportive services, including health care, medication management, and regular support from a case manager. The people at the Village believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. Aside from therapy, one of the most impactful programs I participated in was the Green House Lived Experience Advocacy Program (GHLEAP), where I grew my confidence and learned to advocate for myself and others. During my time at the Village, I also sought out professional development opportunities, earning certifications in conflict resolution, facilitation, and first aid.
One day, Zorka, a member of the Village’s vocational center team, asked me if I wanted to apply for the Peer Case Management Institute. I wasn’t sure I was good enough. I asked Ms. Green, who helps run GHLEAP, what she thought. She told me I was already doing many of the things that the program teaches and that I would be a great fit.
I applied and, among thousands of applicants, I was selected for the program. Completing the 80-hour internship was challenging, but it was worth it. I learned a lot, especially about the importance of self-care. I have to keep my glass filled so that I can help others. I also learned about the power of processing trauma. Every person in the program was able to talk about their trauma, and it strengthened our bond. In the past, I’ve had trouble trusting women, but after that class, those trust issues started to lift away. Graduating from the Peer Case Management Institute at Howard University is one of my greatest accomplishments.
Soon, I will also be signing a lease for my own apartment. Even though I won’t live at the Village anymore, I will continue to use N Street’s services and remain connected to the community that helped me heal. I have also signed up to become a GHLEAP mentor for other women at the Village.
This month, I landed a job as a case manager and will start in September. I want to help people who need a second chance, just like I did. As a case manager, I’m not trying to “save” anybody, but I can help them see things more clearly and give them the tools, including coping skills, to help them make their own decisions.
There was a time when I thought my life was over, but now I see it’s just the beginning. N Street Village saved my life. The staff supported me, challenged me, and showed me tough love when I needed it. My heart is no longer filled with darkness. It’s full of sunshine because I have love, patience, confidence, and excitement about the opportunities ahead.